TED Tuesday: How The Worst Moments In Our Lives Make Us Who We Are

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." 

~~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Good Morning Folks,

I've found a very inspiring talk to share this morning. I'm wallowing in the beauty of this wonderfully crafted story.

Writer (and Big Bang Theory's Jim Parsons doppelganger), Andrew Solomon, closed out this year’s TED Conference in Vancouver with a talk titled, “How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are,” which explores the impact of the traumas people face and how they turn those traumas into the foundation of their identity. 

His speech bought the audience to tears as he described his experiences with self-identity in childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and, most recently, fatherhood.

Now he turns inward, bringing us into a childhood of struggle, while also spinning tales of the courageous people he's met in the years since. In a moving, heartfelt and at times downright funny talk, Solomon gives a powerful call to action to forge meaning from our biggest struggles.

Growing up, Solomon was bullied for being gay, leading to years of depression, during which he even attempted to change his identity through a version of conversion therapy. However, he soon realized that he would be unable to change himself, and instead, “forging meaning and building identity became my mantra.” 

“I dug terrible wounds into my psyche,” he said. “I would have had an easier life if I was straight, but I would not be me. And I now like being myself better than I like being someone else. 

“Stories are the foundation of our identity. It took identity to rescue me from sadness. 

“You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you’ve come to be. And you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt.” 

Speaking of those suffering social discrimination or harassment daily, he added, “All of us with stigmatized identities face this question daily: how much to accommodate society by constraining ourselves and how much to break the limits of what constitutes a valid life.” 

During the speech, Solomon also opened up about being a father, and in what ways he has taken joy from the trivial moments of his day-to-day life with his child and husband, aware that not long ago he never thought that level of happiness was achievable in his own life. 

He says, “We could have been ourselves without the delights, but not without the misfortunes that drive our search for meaning."

Enjoy!



Thanks to dot429 for their contributions to today's post, to TED and most importantly to you for listening.


Let's all go make things happen today. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form.TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE. 

About FSO Onsite Outsourcing
Recognized on the Inc. 5000 list of the nation's fastest growing companies for the second consecutive year, and lead by industry pioneer, Mitch Weiner, FSO's growth and success can be attributed to making a positive and powerful impact on their clients' bottom lines, as well as their employees' careers and lives.

See a brief video portrait of who we are and what can can do for you, HERE

Inspire ME Friday: Wealth, Power.. Success!

Good Morning Folks,

As ace copywriter Bob Bly sees it, there are 6 factors responsible for any individual’s success or lack thereof, especially in business and wealth building.

They are:
==> Aptitude … some people gravitate towards activities that make money (e.g., they are interested in investing or business) – while others are naturally attracted to fields that are less lucrative (e.g., poetry, pottery).

==> Hard work … some people are willing to put in grueling hours to achieve great wealth and material abundance. Others are not willing to sacrifice their hours for dollars, and would rather spend their time in other ways, from playing golf to going camping with their kids.

==> Luck … no matter how much of a technical genius or savvy businessman Bill Gates is, a lot of his success was largely the result of being in the right place at the right time.

==> Perseverance … many rich and successful people got that way simply because they persisted vs. the vast majority who give up at the first roadblock or failure.

==> Brains … being smart – either in the classic I.Q. smart or street smarts – is a decided advantage. And despite what our Constitution says, not all of us are born equal in this regard.

==> Talent … no matter how much I want it or how much I train, there is no chance on Earth of me becoming the next American Idol – or even runner-up.

All of these factors obviously have a great effect on the course of your life. But of these, I believe aptitude is the most important – and unfortunately, the one least under our control. I mean: you like what you like.

You read about those guys on Wall Street with their million-dollar bonuses. And maybe you turn green with envy. But in your mind you know — and say to yourself — “Hey, that ain’t for me.”

The comforting old saying motivational speakers love to spout is that “if you pursue your passion, the money will come.” Sadly, this often isn’t true.

My friend SB pursued his passion as a poet for over 40 years. He had dozens of his poems published in magazines. But he is neither rich nor famous – although I believe (but don’t know for certain) that SB is pretty happy.

So, how can you find more success, peace, and happiness in your life? You have to make a decision. The decision is whether to pursue your passion and enjoy it and be at peace with that path in life … even if you never make much money doing it.

Or, you can decide that your primary goal is money; i.e., You want to be rich, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen – reasoning that once you are rich, then you can afford to indulge in your passions.

Which path have you chosen — and why?

Have a HAPPY, SAFE and HEALTHY Weekend.

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

Thoughts On A Crisp Fall Monday: In The Spirit of the Season, Be Grateful

Good Morning Folks,

I'd like to share something with you that always helps me reground and reconnect when it gets heavy... And you know it does.

I ate today.

I wore clean clothes today.

I have heat today.

I took a shower today.

I have a bed to sleep in.

I have a car.

I have a few dollars in my pocket.

I have the world's best dog.

I have many people who I love.

I have many people who love me...

I am having a wonderful day.

Finding the many, many things we who meet here have to be grateful for and expressing that gratitude will help us all to get through anything.

ERIC HOFFER once said: "The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings."

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

These words remind us that this Thanksgiving we have lots to be thankful for. And we don't have to wait another two weeks for the holiday season to start saying thanks.

So, always remember what John F Kennedy said: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

THANKS for your friendship and your support. Make every day count and enjoy your week.

Cheers to GREATNESS,

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  


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" Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
~~ CICERO
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Photo: Rockefeller Center @Christmas via RockefllerCenter.com

Inspire ME Friday ==> Purpose is eternal, limitless, and absolute.

My friend, pursue purpose and all shall unfold for you…

Good Morning Folks

I love Facebook. I always meet new people, discover other people through them and then learn and grow as a result of some expertise or insight the other shares.

That’s what happened when I stumbled upon Ryan Angelo blogging on EliteNexus.com.

He writes:

If you come from a place of purpose, if you strive to do meaningful things, if you act on a greater good – success WILL find you.  Many individuals are scared right now, and they function from a place of ego.  This will limit them, because the ego is contained, limited, and safe.  The ego is fearful and vulnerable.

Purpose, however, is eternal, limitless, and absolute.

Questions for Contemplation:

==>Do you come from a place of ego, or a place of purpose?
==>Do you focus on your fears, or do you focus on purpose?
==>Do you, everyday, purposefully move towards your goals?
==>Do you doubt yourself, or do you believe in yourself?

My friend, pursue purpose and all shall unfold for you…

Facebook is more than a productivity waster for people who read what other people are having for lunch. You can get educated there. You can make new friends there. You can find something interesting to do on a weekday or weekend night there. You can find a candidate or a job. Find a seminar. And you can do business there> Check it out because it’s not for kids any more.

I hope you are having a wonderful week so far! What beautiful weather we’ve had – It sure is a great time to enjoy the outdoors and take in the beauty of the orange, gold, and scarlet foliage in Central Park and all around New York. 

Get outdoors and enjoy the weekend!

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"Love is the strongest force the world possesses and yet it is the humblest imaginable."
- Mahatma Gandhi
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TED Tuesday: Got a wicked problem? First, tell me how you make toast with Tom Wujec

(re) Imagine! Tom's collected a bunch of best practices. and so you can learn how to run a workshop here, so the seemingly trivial design exercise of drawing toast helps us get clear, engaged and aligned.

Good Morning Folks,

When customers approached us before we went back into the Outsourcing business as Future State Outsourcing in 2010, they were fed up with the status-quo: Onsite Outsourcing as usual.

Though a great idea at its inception, Onsite Outsourcing became complacent and less innovative over time. So we set out to re-invent a business my co-founders had essentially invented. As our successors to those businesses, merged or got acquired, providers had become big, bloated behemoths incapable of making fast decisions and innovating, it was clear that customers wanted something different. Something more. And we (re)Imagined it.

Had I known of Tom Wujec back then, I could have described the process of (re) Imagination as being akin to he telling me how we make toast.

Filmed June 2013 at TEDGlobal 2013, this short TED talk that since has been viewed millions of times, showcases a simple design exercise that helps people understand and solve complex problems, and like many of these design exercises, it kind of seems trivial at first, but under deep inspection, it turns out that it reveals unexpected truths about the way that we collaborate and make sense of things.

Making toast doesn’t sound very complicated — until someone asks you to draw the process, step by step. Tom Wujec loves asking people and teams to draw how they make toast, because the process reveals unexpected truths about how we can solve our biggest, most complicated problems at work. Learn how to run this exercise yourself, and hear Wujec’s surprising insights from watching thousands of people draw toast.

The simple act, Tom describes, of visualizing and doing over and over again produces some really remarkable outcomes. What's really important to know is that it's the conversations that are the important aspects, not just the models themselves. And these visual frames of reference can grow to several hundreds or even thousands of nodes. So, one example is from an organization called Rodale. Big publishing company. They lost a bunch of money one year, and their executive team for three days visualized their entire practice. And what's interesting is that after visualizing the entire business, systems upon systems, they reclaimed 50 million dollars of revenue, and they also moved from a D rating to an A rating from their customers. Why? Because there's alignment from the executive team. So Tom's now on a mission to help organizations solve their wicked problems by using collaborative visualization, and on a site that he's produced called drawtoast.com.

Tom's collected a bunch of best practices. and so you can learn how to run a workshop here, so the seemingly trivial design exercise of drawing toast helps us get clear, engaged and aligned.

So next time you're confronted with an interesting challenge, remember what design has to teach us. Make your ideas visible, tangible, and consequential. It's simple, it's fun, it's powerful, and I believe it's an idea worth celebrating. Here's Tom: 



Thanks to TED and to you for listening.

Have a GREAT Day,



Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer  

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE.  

About FSO Onsite Outsourcing
Recognized on the Inc. 5000 list of the nation's fastest growing companies for the third consecutive year, and lead by industry pioneer, Mitch Weiner, FSO's growth and success can be attributed to making a positive and powerful impact on their clients' bottom lines, as well as their employees' careers and lives.

Only 51 More Days Till The Happiest Time of The Year... Unless...

Photo: BitterSweetColours

"There'll be parties for hosting

Marshmallows for toasting

And caroling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories

And tales of the glories

Of Christmases long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year"

Good Morning Folks,

It's love at first chill with Christmas already in the air. 

New York City is always great but I think it's magical on Christmas! It's bustling with so much energy and life. Everyone is walking briskly, smiling, saying hello, preparing to tip and thank the service people who support and make possible the great lives they enjoy in a very special place.

Such expressions of gratitude are an emotion so powerful it can transform ones mood from darkness to healing light and renew our zest for life.

Being grateful is an attitude of deep appreciation for the realities that surround us "moment to moment"...each day of our life.

But you don 't have to wait for Christmas to be happy. If you are stuck in a dead end job or responsible for back office support and get greeted in the morning by the Debbie Downer receptionist face, find deadlines unmet, critical support staff calling in sick, criticism rather than compliments from the boss, voice mail loops and layers of management bureaucracy instead of answers, FSO can change your destiny. Because happiness lives, breathes and starts everyday with you smiling right here. 

FSO is driven by passionate people and the value they create. They are passionate about their work. Their passion and enthusiasm are the fuel that ignites our success. If there's one thing that FSO lives and breathes everyday – it's the employee experience. We focus on motivating and driving the hourly employee to deliver great service with a skip to their step, twinkle in the eye and fire in the belly.

Growing our folks is my legacy. My care. And my passion. 

Such happiness is contagious –– when the boss has it, it trickles down throughout the entire organization and beyond to its clients. Happiness can spread to everyone who has a dream, a goal, and the will to change. Happiness can elevate and inspire people to make real and lasting changes in their own lives. Today, an enormous opportunity exists to (re) imagine and reinvigorate your workplace and workforce with FSO.

Clients like to think of FSO as the Ritz Carlton of the outsourcing business. Our team takes great pride in all that we do for you. We're all about making the Hospitality service, a pleasant and seamless experience, every single day. Whenever, wherever and however, our Team we'll always be there. 

We continually strive to go "above and beyond" with our clients to provide the most enjoyable experience with the finest personal service and facilities and fulfilling even the unexpressed wishes and needs.

And we always deliver the rare, exceptional level of service that is really worthy of your gratitude. Unlike those Christmas envelopes you'll soon be delivering then shaking your head pondering "for what"?

There is  a poem. by an unknown author I discovered on Kate's site...

Smiling is infectious
You can catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
And someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realized
I’d passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
Then I realized it’s worth.
A single smile just like mine
Could travel round the world.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected,
Let’s start an epidemic quick
And get the world infected!

That in mind please enjoy with my compliments this amazing version of the #1 Christmas anthem of all-time, based on the movie of the same name, It's the Most Wonderful Time featuring Natalie Cole and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

If you'd like the words from the song, go here. If you'd really like to get into the spirit f the season by viewing photos of New York at it's finest from the source of the one featured above go here.

And if you'd like to turn those outsourcing frowns to smiles, talk to us, witness us. We'll   take you on a tour of client sites and and let you taste the FSO experience first-hand where you'll see how different life has become for some of the best known-brands in the world.

Call me personally at 212-204-1193.

Feel the FSO Experience - and ensure everyone around you does too. 

Here's to a wonderful week!

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. 
It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.” 
~~ Ashley Montagu

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Inspire ME Friday: 8 Things To Remember When Everything Is Going Astray.

"Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing."

Good Morning Folks,

Our friends Marc and Angel are two passionate writers, life-hackers, and the authors of 1000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. 

Here’s their list of 8 things to remember when everything goes wrong. Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily TO-DO list:

Think positively. Eat healthy. Exercise today. Worry less. Work hard. Laugh often. Sleep well. Repeat…

#1. Pain is part of growing. 
Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

#2. Everything in life is temporary. 
Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it. (Read The Last Lecture.)#3. Worrying and complaining changes nothing. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a change and never look back.

And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

#4. Your scars are symbols of your strength. 
Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.

Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived and I have my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”

#5. Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.

And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way. There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE. (Angel and Mark discuss this in more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

#6. Other people’s negativity is not your problem. 

Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.

Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.

All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.

#7. What’s meant to be will eventually, BE. 

True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. (Read A New Earth.)

#8. The best thing you can do is to keep going. 

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.

“Everything is temporary, this too shall pass” is a phrase that always comes to my mind whenever things are not going well. All of these are excellent reminders. If you enjoyed this Marc and Angel’s tips, share them with your friends and family.

If you enjoy this, be sure to check out their website for more inspirational advice and practical tips to improve your life. Have you checked out our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently” It includes an eBook, audio book, paperback and bonus material on sale for a big discount.  Click here to check it out!

We are a great team. We are a great company. We have great people. You have to come every day with your game day ready to go. Let's see how many football teams remember that this weekend.

Have a Happy, Healthy, Safe, Fun and Refreshing Holiday Weekend,

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"Remember that you deserve to be happy. It's your natural-born right."
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