Ted Tuesday: Guy Winch-— Why Rejection Hurts So Much — And What To Do About It

Psychologist Guy Winch shares some practical tips for soothing the sting of rejection. (Illustration by Dawn Kim for TED.)

Greetings Folks,

Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in daily life. Our risk of rejection used to be limited by the size of our immediate social circle or dating pools. Today, thanks to electronic communications, social media platforms and dating apps, each of us is connected to thousands of people, any of whom might ignore our posts, chats, texts, or dating profiles, and leave us feeling rejected as a result.

In addition to these kinds of minor rejections, we are still vulnerable to serious and more devastating rejections as well. When our spouse leaves us, when we get fired from our jobs, snubbed by our friends, or ostracized by our families and communities for our lifestyle choices, the pain we feel can be absolutely paralyzing.

Whether the rejection we experience is large or small, one thing remains constant — it always hurts, and it usually hurts more than we expect it to.

The question is, why? Why are we so bothered by a good friend failing to “like” the family holiday picture we posted on Facebook? Why does it ruin our mood? Why would something so seemingly insignificant make us feel angry at our friend, moody, and bad about ourselves?

The greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.

For the answer, read on HERE

Rejection is never easy but knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts, and how to rebuild your self-esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence when it is time for your next date or social event.

Thanks for listening.

Have a GREAT day,

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself." ~~ Edmund Lee 

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Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE. 

TED Tuesday: Nilofer Merchant: Got a meeting? Take a Walk

"What you’re doing right now, at this very moment, is killing you.”

Good Morning Folks,

Nilofer Merchant suggests a small idea that just might have a big impact on your life and health: Next time you have a one-on-one meeting, make it into a "walking meeting" — and let ideas flow while you walk and talk. 

Her famed TED Talk, titled, “Got A Meeting? Take A Walk” has been seen online by over two and a half million viewers to date. The talk posits that “sitting is the new smoking,” and encourages sedentary office workers to be both healthy and productive by walking, rather than sitting, at meetings.

This is a short, highly insightful, and relevant talk to those who spend hours on end (no pun intended) at the office. Sitting is serious business, and here’s why you need to know about it. Have a look:


CPC Strategy, commenting on the presentation, noted: meetings on the go are good for 4 main reasons:

1) It’s good for your health. Office dwellers, and many of us are, form a habit of being sedentary week in and week out. Yes, this is American, but clearly not conducive to a healthy, active lifestyle.

2) It generates new ideas. Being stuck in your usual surroundings on a daily basis can really hinder your creativity. You start to get tunnel vision and tend to think more inside the box. The same goes for writing. You have to revisit your work after a couple days break to really look at it from a fresh perspective. If you change your surroundings and your context, you can start to look at things differently.

3) It gets you out of the office. Sort of like #2, but an excuse to get out of the office and stretch your legs is always welcome. We started having our marketing brainstorming meetings outside, and quite simply, it’s a revelation.

4) Speaking of backsides, gentleman, don’t sit on your wallets at work. It’s bad for your spine and refraining from doing so will do wonders for your back

The bottom line, which is, walk and talk. Walk the talk. You'll be surprised at how fresh air drives fresh thinking, and in the way that you do, you'll bring into your life an entirely new set of ideas.

Have a GREAT Day! 

Mitch

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“To love without condition, to talk without intention, 
to give without reason and to care without expectation. 
This is the art of true relationship."

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Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE.  

TED Tuesday: Meaghan Ramsey— Why Thinking You're Ugly Is Bad For You

“Let's show our kids the truth. Let's show them that the way you look is just one part of your identity and that the truth is we love them for who they are and what they do and how they make us feel”

Good Morning Folks,

About 10,000 people a month Google the phrase, “Am I ugly?” Meaghan Ramsey of the Dove Self-Esteem Project has a feeling that many of them are young girls. So it's no surprise that today's TED selection has been viewed over 3 million times!

In this deeply unsettling talk, Meaghan walks us through the surprising impacts of low body and image confidence—from lower grade point averages to greater risk-taking with drugs and alcohol. And then shares the key things all of us can do to disrupt this reality.

For you, your kids, or someone you or they may know ... I present:


We strive to have the most inspired, motivated, and best trained employees in the industry! I hope these TED Tuesday presentations keep you well informed and enrich your life both personally and professionally.

Have a GREAT Day! 

Mitch

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“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~~Epicurus

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Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE.  

TED Tuesday: Lidia Yuknavitch— The beauty of being a misfit

"Even at the moment of your failure, you are beautiful. You don't know it yet, but you have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly. That's your beauty."

Good Morning Folks,

According to IBM, "Every company, every industry, every occupation is undergoing massive change in a global, information economy. To succeed—even survive—in this modern workforce, workers must be adept in more than one subject and keep up with an ever expanding knowledge base that never seems to stop moving. Workers need to be lifelong learners who are comfortable with learning “just in time” rather than “just one time” in life."

At FSO we are constantly learning new things and inspired to want to do more. This is why we cull through hundreds of TED talks each week in order to bring you a valuable and inspirational lesson on Tuesday.

Today's speaker is a self-proclaimed, card-carrying, misfit. In her acclaimed novels and memoir, author Lidia Yuknavitch navigates the intersection of tragedy and violence to draw new roadmaps for self­-discovery.

To those who feel like they don't belong: there is beauty in being a misfit. Author Lidia Yuknavitch shares her own wayward journey in an intimate recollection of patchwork stories about loss, shame and the slow process of self-acceptance. "Even at the moment of your failure, you are beautiful," she says. "You don't know it yet, but you have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly. That's your beauty."

Lidia discovered her calling after an interrupted journey as a would­-be Olympic swimmer. Her prose erases the boundaries between memoir and fiction, explodes gender binaries and focuses on the visceral minutiae of the body.

Says Lidia, "You can be standing dead center in the middle of your failure and still, I'm only here to tell you, you are so beautiful. Your story deserves to be heard, because you, you rare and phenomenal misfit, you new species, are the only one in the room who can tell the story the way only you would. And I'd be listening."

Have a look:

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Have a GREAT Day! 

Mitch

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“If a Plant's Roots Are Too Tight, Repot.”

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Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE.  

Innovate or Capitulate: In The Struggle For Survival, The Fittest Win

"This means we can’t go backward, and we can’t stand still. We can’t rest on our laurels and we can’t keep doing what we’ve always done — even if we are doing our best, we need to keep doing it better."

Good Morning Folks,

"Innovation" is one of those buzzwords you hear all the time. People are always talking about being a "leader in innovation" or "taking innovation into the twenty-first century". It can look like some kind of innovation nation out there. It's hard to tell who is devoted to innovation and who is simply paying lip service to It. We at FSO are serious about innovation. So serious that we use the word (re) IMAGINE to define who we are: a partner dedicated to always finding new and better ways to improve service, lower costs and take better care of people.

I believe complacency is when innovation ends. The advantage every business has, but few in our industry leverage to the advantage that we do, is the ability to innovate and reinvent. So many great companies lose their edge and end up playing catch-up until they're obsolete. That’s not going to happen here.

Dramatic paradigm sights are occurring in every industry, YOUR industry because traditional barriers to entry don't exist anymore. If you don't think a new era of change and creative destruction isn't headed to your door step, you are sadly mistaken. If you want to be on top, you have to look at innovation in a new, interactive way. You have to believe it is worth coin, its worth doing wrong. You have to be willing to try your model, test it, innovate around it, get out, screw up, and then do it right. You have to understand that speed is everything in an electronic realm because you can fix mistakes before anyone realizes that mistakes were made.

We are facing the biggest transformation the way business is conducted since the industrial revolution. If you are willing to innovate, you are taking steps towards crashing your competition.

The problem according to ANTHONY IANNARINO of there sales blog is change, He writes:

==> Change is more difficult than you believe. Having an intellectual understanding the reason something needs to change isn’t enough. An emotional need to change is necessary and more powerful. 

 ==> Change is psychological. You first have to have a shift in your mindset, your personal philosophy, your personal psychology. Without that shift, there will be no change.

Why something is being changed is more important than how that change is accomplished.

==> Change takes longer than you believe.  It takes longer to sell, longer to build consensus, and longer to execute before results are seen. It is mistake to believe the results of change will be realized quickly, even though change happens in a second 

==> Change comes with built-in enemies. The very fact that you are trying to make change will cause some to oppose you. Resistance is your enemy when you try to change yourself. 

Most change initiatives die not because the idea isn’t good or necessary but because it was poorly executed. The change is usually poorly executed because it lacks executive engagement. People are exceptionally gifted at waiting out change initiatives. 

We overestimate what we can accomplish in a short period of time and underestimate what we accomplish over a longer period. When results don’t come fast, change initiatives are often abandoned. The better results were only a little bit further.

==> Sometimes change initiatives fail because too many variables are changed at once. One major change might have been enough to produce a result, but because so much was attempted, nothing really changed. When too much is changed, you can’t easily figure out what is working and what isn’t.

Radical change very quickly becomes the new status quo. It soon develops its own defenders who protect it from future change.

As an owner and CEO, I am keenly aware that rapid change in business and technology is the “new normal.” The only way for our company to survive, let alone thrive, is to continuously reinvent and redefine— everything.

This means we can’t go backward, and we can’t stand still. We can’t rest on our laurels and we can’t keep doing what we’ve always done — even if we are doing our best, we need to keep doing it better.

The spirit of innovation is a cornerstone of our company. Because at FSO, we never stop rethinking, refreshing and (re)IMAGINING a better future for our clients. We work together with our clients to foster innovation. Our process contains not only a method for generating ideas, but also a system for managing change. Similar to our methodology for continuous improvement, we challenge all levels of our organization to challenge the status quo.  

We reward continuous improvement and innovation; as a result our employees are motived to identify opportunities for improvement and innovation. Our employees are expected to always seek new ways to make our client’s life better through our white glove treatment; the whole FSO Experience. It is not just a tagline for our brand – rather, it is the culture that drives everything we do.

Since our founding six short years ago, we’ve matured from just a service provider among many, to a true strategic partner like no other. In over 160 client sites nationally we’ve become "entrenched" and so "important" to how our clients operate from the first impression - to amazing smiles and hospitality - to all services from mail, copy, records, conference centers, security, concierge, IT and much more. We are the glue that makes our clients business run seamlessly. We are part of their company, and critical to their success.

To our team: You have been given the opportunity to show what you’re made of, to be so much stronger and better than you were just the day before, and to show the world of business a better way.  

So as you get ready to start your day take a second to think; how am I contributing to my clients' success? How can I be better?

How can I get to infinity and beyond? 

How can I be that star, that hero that brings to our clients all the positive change, wealth and success they deserve?

IT IS YOU that makes FSO who we are. Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment." ~~ Charles Darwin

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S. ANTHONY IANNARINO is the President and Chief Sales officer for SOLUTIONS Staffing, a best-in-class regional staffing service based in Columbus, OhioHe is also the Managing Director of B2B Sales Coach & Consultancy, a boutique sales coaching and consulting company where he works to help salespeople and sales organizations improve and reach their full potential. And he works ass an adjunct faculty member at Capital University’s School of Management and Leadership. Anthony teaches Personal Selling in the undergraduate program, and I teach Persuasive Marketing and Social Media Marketing in the MBA program.

Shout Out: High Praise For The Nation's Best Outsourcing Team

"Attitude, trust, respect and character are a big part of what Jeremy brings to the team. Thanks Jeremy for all your dedication and commitment to excellence."

Good Morning Folks,

Building the strongest business means valuing its greatest resource: people. Your business--and your team--will thrive when you align your company's goals with your employees' passions. By investing in your employees and inspiring them on both a personal and professional level, you increase the chances of seeing a better return. 

Here are some of the kudos I am receiving about our incredible teammates:

Christine at Crain's Best Place To Work in Chicago

Ice Cream Social at Crain's Best Place To Work in Chicago

"What better way to cool off on a 95 degree day in Chicago! Another successful function spearheaded by Rossi and the FSO team. Very well received and very successful. Everyone found time to stop by for a chat and a scoop or two. Great Job!"

Danielle at  Crain's Best Place To Work in Chicago

The Team At Chicago Property Management

Buzayehu, Chicago

"We want to express our appreciation for the outstanding job and positive attitude Buzzy brings to each day. We are very lucky to have Buzzy. Keep up the good work!"

Jeremy - Chicago Property Management, Food and Beverage Department (Associate of the Month)

"Excellent job identifying an opportunity and taking advantage of it to deliver excellent service. Jeremy has been a fine addition to the team and a big part of our positive momentum. Attitude, trust, respect and character are a big part of what Jeremy brings to the team. Thanks Jeremy for all your dedication and commitment to excellence. Keep up the great work and please share with your team the experience so they can replicate."

Facilities Team, Wireless Communications Leader, Bellevue, Washington

"Shout outs to the team! We truly appreciate the help from everyone today, in getting the monitors removed and reinstalled...and removed and reinstalled again! It was above and beyond!"

Sasha R, Consulting, New York

"Sasha has been great at covering every floor on Madison during team vacations and emergent issues with the same (or better) level of hospitality of the person who she is covering for. She has always been  “all hands in” and deserving of this recognition."

Nakeisha, Consulting, New York

"Recently Nikeisha had a very difficult reservation to fill as a Partner requested a late meeting for 25 people in the busiest office of all of our hundreds of company locations around the world. Nikeisha methodically and strategically moved meeting around, spoke to others to assist and get the Partner the result he had hoped for.  She was wonderful and was in full communication with the her client the whole time!  Kudos to Nikeisha and her leadership!"

Lucy,  Consulting, New York

"We would like to appreciate Lucy's effort for getting the locker keys issue sorted out.  A quick background, one of our clients had a new locker assigned but the keys weren't available initially, then when they were found they weren't working. As he had to put some stuff rather than carry back and forth she gave him an option to have security team lock unlock which really helped. Throughout the process she explained to him the status. She verified the keys issue and stayed on top with the concerned team to get this fixed. Thank you for owning this Lucy!"

Stephon, NYC HQ Of The World's Preeminent Daily Newspaper
"We had to set up a lunch for a huge meeting & Stephon saw that they needed help and came right over and started putting out the food, taking the cartons out the room, etc. He was such a big help. They couldn't have gotten this meeting set up in time without him. Stephon is professional, courteous and helpful on a daily basis. Thank you for all you do!"


Jackie, World's Largest Advertising Company, NYC
"She consistently goes above and beyond every day. We are very grateful to have Jackie as part of our team.  Keep working Hard Jackie. Your effort does not go unnoticed!!"

Patricia - AMLAW 200 Firm, Boston

"Patricia leads by example and it shows all the time. It is amazing for employees to call you with a situation and you always say “Not a problem”  You have a way with words that is so kind and very helpful. No matter what is going on, we know help is on the way and we truly appreciate all the help that you give us. Thank you Pat and all your FSO team, great job!!"

Avery - AMLAW 200 Firm, Dallas

"I  was visiting with one our wonderful Corporate attorneys this morning and complimenting her on an accent lamp that is very special and has more mechanical operations than just giving off light.  During this conversation and my paying attention to the 1”x2” post it note stuck to it, she said that it was a do not touch message for housekeeping because when they dust it the shade doesn’t get place back on it properly. Well, guess who the person that was mentioned to be the only one to be able to get the shad back on, was?  Avery. Congratulations, Avery we are proud of you for doing something that no one probably knew you were doing."

The Team At A Large, Wall Street Trader

"We have never had a more dedicated and committed team that likes each other and works as one unit. We just wanted to take a moment to let you know what an incredible job this team is doing. You should all be extremely proud of how hard they work to provide an incredible workplace experience for the our family.  Even our CEO has noticed how hard they are working."

Khadija, Global Bank, New York

"Khadija just proved to be a gem that needed the opportunity to shine. While Ikrame was on vacation, Khadija stepped up and assumed Ikrame’s role and did a great job of it. Khadija managed the reception schedule, manage the conference room assignments and resolved all scheduling issues on new and aged requests. Khadija has handled herself in a very professional manner and has earned the respect of her peers. Khadija deserves the recognition for her effort, her dedication to her position and her commitment with our client and FSO.  BRAVO Khadija!!!  Well done!!!"

Kevin and Vanessa at a not-for-profit membership organization that enables collaboration, knowledge sharing, career enrichment, and skills development across all engineering discipline- with 130,000 members in 151 countries.

"Kevin and Vanessa get major Kudos for running our operations while the entire Company attended a company event. While the rest of the firm was at a Baseball Game, Kevin and Vanessa stayed to run the entire Operations without any gap in service. This dedication speaks volumes about their work ethic and we “Thank” them for their hard work."

Shirley - Client Relations Director
"Shout out to Shirley for being so passionate about our OBT internships! She is super passionate about the program and the life changing impact it has on the interns! Shirley and her team have hired so many of the interns post each round! It’s so exciting to watch them grow within the FSO family! We have even greater pool of Interns that are ready to go live on the 2nd of August."

For employees, forging a fulfilling career is one of the most important — and often, most difficult —challenges in building a happy life. For employers, building a culture of happiness is key to cementing their brand’s success. When these interests converge, the result is a sense of belonging through shared values and an intangible, emotional belief that we are on a shared journey.

Again, thank for all that you do! The next time you see any of the folks above, please give them a “Shout Out” – for job well done.

We look forward to give YOU your own “Shout Out” coming soon to a Wednesday near you.

Have a GREAT day,

Love Life!


Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer  

Ted Tuesday: David Steindl-Rast: Want To Be Happy? Be Grateful

"Remember that you deserve to be happy. 
It's your natural-born right."

- Pharrell

Good Morning Folks,

"Happy," originally produced for the Despicable Me 2 soundtrack, topped charts in more than 15 countries for almost two years. It has 900+ Million views on You Tube.

It's impossible not to listen to Pharrell's "Happy" and think about FSO. It could be our anthem. HAPPY IS OUR ENTIRE COMPANY.  As you'll hear in today's program, the only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.

You see, the secret of happiness is like the secret of dieting: There is no secret.

We all want to be happy, says David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk and today's Ted Tuesday speaker with over FIVE MILLION views on Ted and YouTube (just in case you are wondering who ever heard of him or whether it's worth your few minutes to tune in).

Everyone wants to be happy. But not all happy people are grateful (they want more of something, or want something else); but all grateful people (even though many live with misfortune) are happy.

So: it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.

Every moment is a gift, and ‘opportunity’ is the gift within every gift.

The master key to happiness? Moment by moment we have this gift.

In some moments we’re not happy – because of someone’s suffering, loss of a friend, etc.

But the key here is that we’re learning something in every moment: patience, for example. And then in the next moment we get another opportunity.

How should we respond to all these opportunities? Same as you were taught as a child about crossing the street: STOP, LOOK, GO.

STOP when you turn on the water-faucet: millions don’t have access to drinkable water. Or ditto when you turn on the power switch. (David’s put little ‘gratefulness stickers’ on the tap and light-switch at his place, after a trip to Africa where these good things weren’t available.)

LOOK – open your eyes, and your hearts (use the opportunity to make others happy).

GO – Do something!

Grateful people are not fearful, and therefore not violent. Grateful people are joyful people.

Grateful people are FSO people and I am honored to be in your company.

May love, health, joy and laughter continue throughout your  life.

Now discover why happiness, as David suggests, is born from gratitude. 

Get ready for an inspiring lesson in slowing down, looking where you're going, and above all, being grateful.

Thanks to John Mark Ministries and Ted for making it possible to share this with you, and to you for watching. 

Let’s FOCUS on today, so we can build tomorrow.

Have a GREAT day as I look forward to seeing all of you soon.

Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer

Learn more about what DIFFERENTIATES FSO here

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE. 

Putting Fun Into Work— All For A Great Cause

FSO employees come together to celebrate National Cheese Day!

Good Morning Folks,

It is said, "The way your employees feel is the way your customers will feel. And if your employees don't feel valued, neither will your customers." At FSO, we are providing great new programs and initiatives for YOU, our employees.

We had a great time celebrating National Pizza Day at HQ last week! In April we celebrated both National Beer Day and National Grilled Cheese Day! As you can see, we had quite the celebration here at FSG HQ. The café was set up with Grilled Cheese toasters and assorted CHEESE!!! We had an amazing turn out packed with directors, managers, and employees from the field. It was a blast, everyone loved it.

FSO employees "loafing" around in four easy steps: 

1) Choose slices from the Rye, Wheat or White loaves, 2) Choose a cheese 

3) Melt in the sandwich press 4) Repeat for someone less fortunate

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Best of all, we turned this national celebration into an act of philanthropy! We packed a take-out bag and took to the street to give the leftover grilled cheese to the homeless of NYC.

I really enjoy these events where we can bring our staff together, it’s always a great time. Thank you Chelsea and People Solutions for your support in making FSG a great company. I personally enjoyed being in the café connecting with everyone. 

We invite the local field staff to come join us for these events any time. Be sure to check our Employee Relations Calendar for more of our upcoming events!

On behalf of the leadership team, to all of our employees reading this right now, I’d like to THANK YOU for what YOU do every day and the contribution YOU are making in helping FSO deliver to our promise, grow and be the Best Place to Work.

I look forward to seeing all of you soon in my travels.

Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer

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“Don't ever give up. Don't ever give in. Don't ever stop trying. 

Don't ever sell out. And if you find yourself succumbing to one of the above for a brief moment, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, whisper a prayer, and start where you left off. But never, ever, ever give up.”  

~~ Richelle E. Goodrich  Author

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