Eddie Pons: "I Am That Boy"

There is no better example of someone who took opportunity to heart and made the most of it in the form of a fulfilling and lucrative career working his way all the way up to FSO Division Director as Eddie Pons. According to Eddie, "When people ask me what I do for a living, I reply: FULFILL DREAMS!"







TGIF Folks,

To send you off to the weekend with a BIG SMILE, here is today's inspirational message from Eddie Pons. It's the kind of motivational messages people from all walks of our company contribute daily. Here's Eddie:

A brief story:
24 years ago, a young boy met a person that would change his life...forever.  

This boy worked for a small New York company providing customer service via a busy mail room. Snow, rain, extreme temperatures, he would trek "to and fro" retrieving and delivering mail and parcel for his company, always with a smile - always helpful. He learned and learned whatever would make the job better. He cared about everything he did, and could do - to help anyone. As much as he loved his job, it was just that, a "job" - however, something was about to change... 

Those so many years ago, this boy met... a Visionary. A Pioneer. A force that would change... everything! This Visionary would create a career from that "job", the boy loved so. 

Both the boy and the visionary shared the same passion. They both believed in taking care of people, finding the best in them and helping wherever possible. The meeting of the two was destiny. The feeling of finding someone that shared the same philosophies, focus, passion could only be described as a mutual love. Love of people. 

Unbeknownst to him at the time, the boy had met someone that would impact his life, the life of his family and the lives of all that would be so blessed as to share and experience in his vision. That feeling of comfort, of satisfaction, of simply being blown away is something that is not felt everyday and is to be treasured. We all want that feeling, deserve that feeling and would want to spread that feeling to as many people possible. 

That boy with a job, grew to be a man with an amazing career and great success. 

That visionary with a dream, is growing the most dominant company in our industry. 

I - am that boy. 

Mitch - is that visionary. 

And that love?... that love - is the FSO EXPERIENCE!

Everyone of you deserve it, and so do our clients. This is who we are. This is what we provide. This is what they all want. Everyday - Every interactions  - Every moment - the message never changes, the feeling is real - share it with the world:  

FSO...Feel the EXPERIENCE

Thanks so much for this Eddie. There is no better example of someone who took opportunity to heart and made the most of it in the form of a fulfilling and lucrative career working his way all the way up to FSO Division Director, as Eddie Pons. 

I dare say we promote more people every day than most other companies of our size.

Just ask Eddie Pons and dozens like him at FSO who have worked their way up to stardom. According to Eddie, "When people ask me what I do for a living, I reply: FULFILL DREAMS!"

Don't let anything or anyone stop you. Believe and inspire. And SPREAD THE WORD. 

Your energy, enthusiasm and professionalism are always greatly appreciated. 

Have a fabulous, sunny weekend filled with love and inspiration.  

Be great and (re)IMAGINE!

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

Read more inspiring messages from our employees HERE

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“Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open." ~~T. Dewar

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It's Wednesday: That Mean's It's Time For a Shout Out To Our Stars

"Your guys are amazing. All of them! They truly go above and beyond, coming in early for 7:30am set up to just delivering the white glove service that elicits comments (from clients and hosts ) such as “flawless”

Good Morning Folks,

Our clients love what we are doing for them. When they take time to write like this after months of being let down by their former suppliers, it is testament to what I've been saying all along: At FSO, our difference is people. They bring a passion for hospitality and service that is unduplicated. 

Here are some of the amazing things our clients are saying about our motivated, team-oriented, passionate people. I am honored to be in the company of all mentioned. 

Andrea, Capco
"Andrea, Thank you so much for putting everything together. Food was excellent! Great job and thanks again!" ~~Rhea /Consultant/Capco

Capco Team **2 Kudos in 1 Month**
"Jonathan - thank you and the FSO team for the incredible service I saw growing over the last couple of months – smile," ~~Global Head of Brand & Creative Services 

"Just wanted to say thank you for helping with the Jefferies event today. Our clients were very happy with the outcome of the meeting."

Saleem , Capco **2Kudos in 1 Month**

"A belated note of thanks for your help in the happy hour that you helped organize. It was a successful event. Trinity Bar and Restaurant was a good pick." Thanks, Brian.

"I just want to bring to your attention that a lot of us think Saleem is doing a wonderful job. He is always very helpful, flexible and very easy to work with. Thank you for bringing him to Capco."  ~~Nini/ EA/ Capco

Crissette, People Solutions On-Boarding Specialist
"Wanted to recognize Crissette for being so amazing with getting our folks on board and especially helping the new employees with paychex.  She has been so patient and helpful with the group from Empire. Good Job Crissette!"! ~~Nitza / Associate Director

Corea Loach, Centerline

"Just a quick note to let you know that Corea Loach filled-in today at Centerline Capital and she did a very good job." ~~Charles 

Demetrius, Y&R
"Dee continues to do a great job for us and to always go the extra mile.  I have seen him literally manning almost every FSO position here this week. Apparently he was a little short staffed but he rose to the occasion and made sure all bases were covered. I’m sure he put in extra non-billable hours too and he never ever complains. Make sure he feels loved. Thanks and have a good weekend." ~~ /SVP, Director of Facilities Management/Young & Rubicam Group
 

Mariana, People Solutions**2 Kudos in 1 month**

"I want to thank you for all of your support and help during the Hartford recruiting process. You followed up with me constantly and offered assistance whenever needed. You provided me with so many resumes that I finally filled my 2 open positions. You are very dedicated to your job and that dedication shows!  I truly appreciate all of your efforts. You made my job a lot easier!  Thank you." ~~Lisa/Experience Lead/ FSO

"AGREE…KUDOS for MARIANA!!! The Northeast is getting back in shape because of her diligence, “Fire , Skip, and Twinkle”. We are all very thankful for her efforts! Best!" ~~Shawn /Northeast Regional Director/FSO

Michael , Lowenstein**2 Kudos in 1 month**
"Michael was a tremendous help this evening in getting documents turned over to Michael Lichtenstein, Mary Knodel and Office Services.  I had to download voluminous pleadings from PACER for Michael L. and Mary K.  Without Michael’s direct assistance, I could not have expeditiously completed the assignment. Thank you Michael and thank you Angel for having such a great staff!" ~~Evening Legal Secretary/Word Processor/Lowenstein Sandler LLP

"I know you guys had a long/hard day, so I will keep it short and sweet. Michael ROCKS!  Talk about great help with a problem I just had. I can’t tell you how happy that made me. Thanks!" ~~Partner/Lowenstein Sandler LLP

 
PHD Team
"Hi,We just really wanted to say thank-you to all the team there for helping us organise the Guardian Roadshow event last week! It was a success and the client is really happy. Ray, Wendy, Cleon, Christina  and Jonathan especially made the set-up and running completely seamless - so special thanks to you both- you guys are awesome!" -MOHAWK / Luke /LONDON

Ivan & Anthony, Mantena
"By the way....I have to mention how wonderful Ivan is over at Mantena. He is a great leader and very engaged. Also, Anthony was actually shopped by our Senior VP of the company and did an excellent job!!!! I did get a chance to speak to Ivan about the "shop" to express my appreciation for the consistency. GREAT JOB!" ~~Area Manager/Equity Residential

Thanks fort taking the time to write to me about these gifted employees. I am always eager to hear more about how we are doing.

The PERSONAL touch AND CARE that our clients complimented us on…this is what sets us apart; this is why we are blowing the competition out of the water every chance we get, this is why our employees LOVE FSO and feel the connection to us!

THANK YOU for all of your support and hard work…Keep on shining! WE really appreciate it!  

Cheers FSO USA!!!!

Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer

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"Leadership is service, not position" ~~Tim Fargo
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Ted Tuesday: Paolo Cardini's Forget Multitasking, Try Monotasking

"Multitasking only works for a very few people. As Paolo stated, only 2% of people are "super-taskers" who can multi-task efficiently. The rest of us, when we try to multi-task, often end up doing many things poorly, instead of one thing well."

Good Morning Folks,

With 1,651,644 views on Ted's site, Industrial Product designer Paolo Cardini's Forget multitasking, try monotasking (aka The Power of Focus) is already a big hit.

For many of us, multitasking is part of everyday life: Tweeting, evaluating a revolutionary business startup and preparing a sandwich all in the same minute comes as second nature.

But perhaps we should start looking at the concept of multitasking as outdated -- inefficient. In the clip below (a video from TedTalks), designer Paolo Cardini makes a case for monotasking -- or as we often put it, unit asking. His charming 3D-printed smartphone covers just might help.



What is your focus? Think about it. Will you be in control of your POWER of FOCUS, or will you fall into the trap of firefighting, not in control of your time, busy with activities that are not in line with the corporate goals or mine that you have been given?

Our people, from mail room clerks to front of house to our Sr. Management team are driven by one simple focused goal, make today better than it was yesterday. Our people never stop looking for ways to make our clients life better. When I talk about passion, it is not just a tag line for our brand it is the way we approach everything we do.

Focus at FSO is on providing employees that not only can deliver services, but have the fire, skip and twinkle in how they deliver Hospitality service. The FSO Experience is a different level of White Glove Service. We are not happy with just meeting expectations as that is only a passing grade for our competitors. We want them to feel the difference!

How lucky are we to be able be given new chances to improve ourselves, improve the way we serve our clients, improve the way we work with our staff, as well as to improve the way these opportunities are spread among all levels of employment at FSO. This is important. 

Let's all go make things happen today. I look forward to seeing you soon.

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TED Tuesdays on MitchWeiner.com highlights some of today's most intriguing ideas. Look for more talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more— HERE.  


About FSO Onsite Outsourcing
Recognized on the Inc. 5000 list of the nation's fastest growing companies for the second consecutive year, and lead by industry pioneer, Mitch Weiner, FSO's growth and success can be attributed to making a positive and powerful impact on their clients' bottom lines, as well as their employees' careers and lives.

Shattering Glass Ceilings and Realizing Her Full Potential, FSO Is Where Crystal's Career Dreams and Ambitions Are Being Fulfilled

"Mitch, Jim, and the entire ELT have built this incredible business and are allowing opportunities for every single FSO staff member to shine and grow personally and professionally. Do not only “FEEL THE EXPERIENCE” for yourself, SPREAD the experience to every person who you interact with and we will all shine!! :)"

Good Morning Folks,

We're back after a week's hiatus with a special treat for you this morning.

FSO is growing at an extremely fast pace. Outsiders want to know the keys to that success -- the driving force behind the ambition. We know it's our people that make the difference. 

But as I've said before, on Fridays when I share the best of our internal employee communiques of the week, the best way to get to know the size, scope and spirit of FSO is to hear what our employees have to say directly. 

At FSO, I promise our employees a career, not just a job. An opportunity for anyone with >>SKIP >>Twinkle >>Fire and a willingness to work hard and learn and grow each and every day, the a chance to shatter glass ceilings and realize their full potential as has never been possible before. Today, Crystal's story is a case in point:

Good morning and a very happy hump day FSO USA!! :) :) :) 

With this, my first ever morning message, I want to stress a very simple concept that we all know and have heard a million times.. this being “the golden rule”.. treat others as you would like to be treated.

Super cliché right? Allow me to just tell you a short story about the benefits of being a nice, positive person…

I grew up the daughter of a fabulous couple who owned a small family hardware store. From the time I was five years old I would go into the store and stand beside my mother at the counter and watch her interact with customers on a regular basis. I watched as every single customer, from the burliest, grease stained mechanic to the frazzled housewife with a clogged toilet, left our little store with a smile on their face because my mother treated each and every customer like family. The tiny store was a beacon of my little community with customers avoiding the “big box” hardware stores.. whose identities I will keep anonymous.. to pay a little more at our mom & pop store because of the EXPERIENCE.

This sublime level of customer service is in my blood (or, one could say that I have "FSO" in my blood.. to an outsider this may sound like I have a terminal illness but everyone in this family will understand my meaning.. and as we sweep the nation soon enough the outsiders will understand as well) and living by the idea of the golden rule has gotten me everything. I graduated from Hofstra University four years ago at the height of the recession still very unsure of what I wanted to be when I “grew up”. 

I needed to make money, so the food service industry was an obvious choice. I spent the past four years behind bars, knowing very well that it was not my end game but using it as a platform, a chance to speak with hundreds of people on a daily basis. I found myself growing within the food service industry and getting better and better opportunities.. all from bar guests. 

People who did not necessarily know me but who were willing to take a chance on me simply because I was nice to them and really cared. A guest at the dive bar where I was working offered me a position at his sports bar… a guest at the sports bar offered me a position at his fancier French bistro… a guest at the French bistro was a chef at one of the most popular restaurant/clubs in the heart of the Meatpacking District and he offered me a position there.

And it was there where a group of fun loving bar guests came in who were clearly celebrating and were clearly not only coworkers but dear friends. The leader of the group requested champagne and I worked with him to select the perfect bottle for the occasion. One of the members of the group was a lovely woman who was pregnant so I made her a virgin mojito. I made the group smile and laugh.. I was as accommodating as possible because that’s the only way that I know how to treat people.. I’m my mother’s daughter.

The infectious, permanently smiling man who was the ringleader of the group handed me his business card as he left and insisted that I call because he wanted me on his team. The business card read “Mitchell D. Weiner – Founder, Chief Happiness Officer, CEO & Owner". (A company with a Chief Happiness Officer!? SIGN ME UP!) And now here I sit, nearly four months into my tenure with FSO a week after receiving my first promotion, writing my story to the entire company… it is pretty amazing.

Today I have two pieces of advice for every person in this company. Number one is to treat others as you would like to be treated. Live life like my mother and I can guarantee that the results will be overwhelmingly positive. And number two is to appreciate and recognize when you are treated particularly well. Live life like Mitch and acknowledge that taxi driver, or that grocery store worker, or that barista who has gone above and beyond and let them know how much you appreciate it. Take it a step further and tell them about FSO. Every single one of us has the opportunity to recruit and build on this company simply by recognizing talent. We are a PEOPLE company.

Mitch, Jim, and the entire ELT have built this incredible business and are allowing opportunities for every single FSO staff member to shine and grow personally and professionally. Do not only “FEEL THE EXPERIENCE” for yourself, SPREAD the experience to every person who you interact with and we will all shine!! :)
 

Well Crystal, THANK you. What a great message!!!  So powerful, I'm so glad you're here! We are venturing into the fourth year of our youthful company with so many great people and ideas.  

This week, DELIVER THE FSO EXPERIENCE with POWER OF FOCUS. Let us all help each other so that we continue to be THE BEST ONSITE OUTSOURCING COMPANY IN THE WORLD!

With care, passion, inspiration and love. 

Have a GREAT day as I look forward to seeing all of you soon.

Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer

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"When I was 5 years old my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life" - John Lennon

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Read more inspiring messages from our employees HERE

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Kudos Wednesday: To Our July Rockstars— Thank You!

'I can't tell everyone how thrilling it has been to be on this GREAT JOURNEY.  This is such an amazing company, and we all have so much to offer --- very overwhelming, and a real joy to participate in (CLIENT LOVEFEST) each and every single day!!  We own the day, we rock it, AND it shows!!
~~ FSO Employee on Awards Call

Good Morning Folks,

The weather in New York has been fabulous. I hope all of you have had the chance to enjoy the summertime with family and friends. The FSO Nation has been going full steam ahead, delivering the world class experience that has made us famous from coast to coast.  

Before we get to the awards, I'd like to point out some very special recognition we received in a client's blog. You've seen all the kudos we've shared about our employees from this client, Capco, and now this recognition is icing on the cake. 

In their post they mention my fellow workforce happiness leader Simon Sinek's new book (Leaders Eat Last) where Simon (who has been featured right here on MitchWeiner.com's Ted Tuesday), talks about employees and happiness at work. He contends that only a minority of employees feel fulfilled and truly happy at work… and it is of our own doing.  

Sinek reckons employees are not happy because we have built systems and constructed orgaizations that force the human animal to work in environments in which it does not work best…. and one which encourages us to look after ourselves first and be suspicious of others.

Capco's takeaway was confirmation that trust plays such an important part in creating the right environment for employees … and acts as the lubrication that reduces friction and creates conditions much more conducive to high performance.

As such they were delighted to boast that we are a trusted partner blogging:

"As I thought about how good it felt to be recognised by our clients, I realised we don’t do enough of that with our own vendors and partners. How many of us have said thanks or well done to FSO and RPO - our partners helping us provide a world class experience in the office and helping us hire world class colleagues. They are a critical part of making Capco what it is...stop by - say thanks!"

Every day, people search for something that motivates them. Things to get them out of bed, things to get them pumped up, things to help them make it through the day and so much more! What a great thing to be able to say about your job!

Thanks to you Capco for giving us the privilege to serve you. Here are the July winners who personify our leaders of the future. 

You can read what our clients had to say about these Rockstars HERE and HERE and HERE and look forward to many more kudos we've received for our employees that will be published next Wednesday. 

What amazing teams ~ the energy and passion were unmistakable!! 

We've built and grown his business with an emphasis on people – the hardworking, dedicated employees who care about doing a great job for our clients. Without your passion, energy and care, we would not be the company that we are today. 

As we approach the third and final holiday weekend of summer, have a fabulous, sunny, day filled with love and inspiration.  

Hugs all around,

Mitchell D. Weiner
Chief Happiness Officer

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"If you can't fly then run, 
if you can't run then walk,
if you can't walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."
—Martin Luther King, Jr. 

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Start Today Differently, IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!

"Moving to NYC and starting a new job can be a BIT intimidating, but everyday I’ve been able to count on my FSO family made me feel right at home. I look forward to the lovefest every day! Here at FSO we truly care about our people & making them feel special, IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!"

TGIF Folks,

That buzz around the FSO Nation, it is growing louder and louder everyday! 

That feeling that something magical is going on.

From our clients to employees to our senior management, it is everywhere!

FSO is booming! 

We are on FIRE!!

and.... The FSO Experience is speeding across the country.

One of our 2014 corporate goals is to have the most inspired, motivated and best trained employees in the industry - and this really speaks to our commitment to YOU our client and providing each employee with the chance to have their career dreams fulfilled. 

And nowhere is that spirit reflected more passionately in the words that follow. Plucked from our internal communications from one of our People Solutions Specialist's who has a key hands-on role in making that training real and dreams fulfilled: My daughter, Chelsea Weiner, over to you!

"Myself, as well as everyone else who has written the morning message, approaches this honor with the same intentions; to make an impact, to inspire & to allow everyone to feel the FSO EXPERIENCE! So… considering I recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary with the company, why not share a little bit of how the experience has impacted my life!

For starters - Before joining the FSO, I was studying Education and didn’t think I was fit for a business environment. As we know the FSO experience is all about spotting talent and nurturing it; Mitch helped me to realize that I would be a valuable asset to the training team. As the months went by, I started to discover new interests and my career pathing started! My drive and efforts paired with the never ending support from the People Solutions Team and colleagues allows me feel like I’m capable of ANYTHING!  I encourage all of you - TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CAREER PATHS; IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!

When I stepped into the office on my first day of work, I saw tons smiling faces, received countless hugs and warm greetings from familiar and new faces!  Moving to NYC and starting a new job can be a BIT intimidating, but everyday I’ve been able to count on my FSO family made me feel right at home. I look forward to the lovefest every day! Here at FSO we truly care about our people & making them feel special, IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!

Above all, I’m beyond impressed by the intelligent people I interact with every day, ON EVERY LEVEL! I am lucky enough to spend time with our executives, clients, our directors, the sales team, colleagues, EM’s, leads, associates & everyone has something special to bring to the table. FSO offers something unique, people come from all different backgrounds and experiences. Each and every one of you have helped me transform into the professional I am today, and I thank you. We are extremely lucky to have leaders and mentors who want to be a resource to you and guide you, IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!

I could go on and on, trust me! The truth is, FSO is one of the best kept secrets. But why?! We have the greatest leader, Mitch, who truly loves our employees and our clients. Mitch truly puts his heart and soul into creating the happiest place to work every day. After this past year, I want to scream “THANK YOU FSO” from the rooftops! Would you do the same? Would your teams do the same? Would your clients do the same?

Start your day with these questions in mind, and make sure you’re working to ensure that YES is the answer.

Start today differently, IT’S THE FSO EXPERIENCE!" Chelsea Weiner-- People Solutions Specialist

As you know, my vision and legacy are all about our EMPLOYEES, and the focus that is placed on each person is part of the fabric of the company and this will NEVER change – and I feel so fortunate to be a part of this amazing company and to lead our Team. 

Our employees and clients must love us, and feel the energy and excitement we all share at HQ.  WWe are going to bring the FSO Experience to life for every single employee and ensure this the HAPPIEST PLACE TO WORK!!

As our tagline says, don’t keep it a secret.

Feel the FSO Experience - and ensure everyone around you is too. 

Have a HAPPY, SAFE and HEALTHY Weekend.

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"

~~Dolly Parton

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The Art of Business / Dinner Conversation

"With so much focus on what to say, it can be easy to forget that talking is only half of a conversation. The other half, of course, is listening. “One thing most people enjoy is when other people pay attention to them,” says Smith. This includes listening closely to what others have to say, asking questions to get them to say more, and genuinely appreciating what was shared."

Good Morning Folks,

I have been out in the field a lot and plan on increasing that. At the sites. Meeting the folks. Talking to the folks. Dining with our clients and more to better understand the market, what they are hearing and how we can help.

The field is where it happens. It is where we learn. Get information.  And build from. Headquarters needs "field-real" information so we can ensure that FSO is solidly positioned for the future and nothing stands in the way of us dominating the market place. 

As many of you know Pat, Jim and I can be out entertaining clients till 11PM every night with great food, fine wine and stimulating conversation. Something I doubt you'll find the top executives and owners of our competitors doing.

And for many clients at the highest level, this is where we offer unsolicited growth advice that has become one of FSO's greatest value adds. We are able to observe innovations in place A and connect the dots with place B. But the best brainstorming and the real ideas flow the mood is just right and the environment perfect and removed from the day to day grind of the office.

So clients often ask, how do you orchestrate these dinners night after night and you enjoy them so much? is there an art to a business conversation? Mitch, what are your secrets?

And I always refer them to a primer on the subject I received from one of my regular stops across the country: Capital Grill.

==> I present ... The Art of Conversation  byMeta Wagner for The Capital Grille

An hour cocktail party or two-hour business dinner can feel like a day dragging on if you aren’t silver-tongued or you wind up paired with someone who is less-than-outgoing. Even captivating public speakers or extroverted account executives can sometimes find themselves at a loss when the go-to topics (business, movies, weather, kids) are exhausted.

Fortunately, no matter where you are on the conversation comfort scale, there are techniques that can make any conversation engaging, meaningful, and memorable.

==> Banter like the Best Conversationalists
Conversation, as with any art from, has past masters that the rest of us can emulate. And, no group of gabbers is as renowned as the Algonquin Round Table. These writers, critics, actors and wits, including Dorothy Parker, met for lunch regularly at the Algonquin Hotel from 1919 to 1929, producing linguistic gems that are still quoted to this day.

Not everyone can produce the perfect bon mot, but everyone has personal stories to share. And, storytelling, according to Paul Smith, author of Lead with a Story, is the basis for relationship building through conversation. This is especially true in the workplace, where, all too often, hallway chatter can seem predictable or even superficial.

Smith says that there are two types of stories you can tell that will be instant hits. “Be self-deprecating,” says Smith. “Everyone would love to hear about how you accidentally hit ‘Reply All’ to the company email and admitted something a little embarrassing to the entire organization.”

The other welcomed type of story is about when you learned something, or learned it in an unexpected way. “Talking about your medieval history class might only be interesting to other history buffs,” says Smith. “But if you tell a story about how you learned medieval history by watching Monty Python movies and cross-referencing the facts in Wikipedia, almost anyone will find that entertaining.”

==> Create a Genuine Connection
Storytelling can also take you beyond simple camaraderie and actually allow you to create a closer, more genuine bond with co-workers or clients. It all depends on how willing you are to be open and honest.

“The most effective stories are ones that create vulnerability by showing an insecurity, or describing a painful time in your life, or a costly failure,” says Smith. “They’re exactly the kind of stories people don’t want to tell to a bunch of strangers in the office—and that’s the point. It’s a vicious circle. We don’t tell our personal stories because we work with strangers. They remain strangers because we don’t tell our personal stories. You have to break the cycle. Tell your own stories and challenge other people to tell theirs, and you’ll never work with strangers again.”

Daniel Menaker, former editor at the New Yorker and Random House and the author of A Good Talk, agrees. “Take risks and confide in others,” he advises. “Those are the conversations that come from nowhere and develop into exchanges with more meaning.”

==> Treat Conversing Like a Task
Stimulating repartee, funny anecdotes, and personal disclosures are the stock in trade of a great conversationalist. But there are also times when you might feel shy or anxious about attending an upcoming dinner party or company outing. That’s where your project management skills will come in handy.

Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk, says to approach these occasions as you would any other project. “Most of us are great at tasks,” she says. “That’s one reason why we’ve succeeded, professionally.”

First step is a little reconnaissance. Fine suggests getting hold of the guest list if you can and reviewing everyone’s names, especially partners and spouses, so you can try to recall what you know about each person and, if you’ve met before, what you talked about the last time you were together.

Next, prepare three “conversation starters” that are broad enough to appeal to nearly anyone and are designed to elicit specific, and hopefully interesting, responses. “Bring me up to date with that project you were telling me about last time” or “What’s been going on with work for you since the last time I saw you? “ Or, Fine’s favorite when you’re speaking to someone you don’t know well, “What keeps you busy outside of work?”

Finally, come to any social event equipped with short answers to questions you’ll probably be asked, like “How’s your year been?” or “How are the kids?”

==> Listen Intently
With so much focus on what to say, it can be easy to forget that talking is only half of a conversation. The other half, of course, is listening. “One thing most people enjoy is when other people pay attention to them,” says Smith. This includes listening closely to what others have to say, asking questions to get them to say more, and genuinely appreciating what was shared.

Alex Lickerman, M.D., physician and author of The Undefeated Mind, also believes that the value of being a good listener cannot be overstated. He says that shifting the attention away from yourself and toward others--genuinely caring about what they have to say--“will lead to an approach and tone that people will notice and warm to. And it will make you less fearful in engaging with others.”

The benefits of being a good listener do not end there. As Smith observes, one requirement for any great conversation is to have at least one good listener. “And if that’s you,” he says, “you will be the one in the group people like because you were largely responsible for ensuring that those speaking were having a good time.”

The best news about becoming a better listener? As Smith points out, “You don’t have to be a great talker to be a great conversationalist.”

As to who pays the bill, whomever invited the other person out customrily picks up the tab and offers transportation home (especially for our employees and ladies after 9PM, we prefer them not in the subways). Uber is a click away and reasonable rates.

Enjoy your dinners!

Cheers and a toast to you!

Love Life!

Mitchell D. Weiner

Chief Happiness Officer  

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"His lips drink water but his heart drinks wine” ― E.E. Cummings

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** Meta Wagner is the “Vox Pop” columnist for PopMatters, an online magazine of cultural criticism. Her articles and essays have appeared in Salon, The Boston Globe Magazine, Chicago Tribune and The Christian Science Monitor.